21 Psychological Hacks To Use To Your Advantage
Nathan Johnson
Published
04/15/2023
in
ftw
Are things just not going your way with people recently? If being your true and genuine self just isn't cutting it these days, maybe you want to try being more on the manipulative side of things. Here are 21 psychological hacks you can use to try and get your way. Just don't get upset when you get called out.
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1.
If I want to sway one specific person in a meeting, I attach my opinion to something THEY said. "I agree with Erica" or "To Erica's point earlier" makes Erica much more likely to agree with what I'm about to say next. I use this constantly with people both up and down the chain from me. -
2.
The power of "Might as well..." It's particularly useful if you're depressed and don't have a lot of energy to do things. So for example, if I get up to put food in the microwave I'm going to be standing in my kitchen for exactly 1.5 minutes. Might as well put dishes away while I wait. If I've gotten up to grab my phone from the other room, I *might as well* take this garbage with me and put it in the trashcan. Instead of letting it pile up. I've just gotten home and am changing out of work clothes and into pajamas. I'm already standing in my closet. The pull up bar is right there in the doorway. Might as well do one or two pull ups. (I even throw in a couple squats while I wait for the shower to warm up.) -
3.
Ask your son if he wants milk and he'll say no, but ask him if he wants milk in a blue cup or a red cup and he'll choose a color and drink his milk! Magic! -
4.
“How?” - I got this one from a negotiating book by Chris Voss - former FBI Hostage Negotiator, lots of parallels for parenting young kids. How can we go to the playground if you don’t put your shoes on? How can we put dessert on your plate when there are vegetable in the way? How can you have fun tomorrow if you don’t go to bed? It flips the script on my kids - instead of giving orders, I’m trying to help them get what they want (by having them do what I want) and asking them for the solution. Yeah they can get smart and give chippy answers, but you just keep asking them how…. -
5.
90% of the time I use my customer service voice instead of my normal voice. People just treat you better when you're cheery and upbeat. I also think it kinda makes me more cheery and upbeat. -
6.
When dealing with customers, I do a lot of "positive language." It's never "Sorry for your wait," more "Thank you for your patience." I am pretty good with customer service, often have my name mentioned positievely in Google Reviews, and my boss points me out to the new guy as "the one we need to be like" for customer service -
7.
I guess I would call it using inertia. It’s a million times easier to keep doing something once you have started. So if I don’t feel like working out I tell myself I’ll just do a short work out. Or if the dishes need to be done I’ll tell myself to do one. More often than not once I start doing something my brain stops fighting so much against it. The important thing though is to let yourself only do the short workout or that one dish if you start and still are fighting yourself. Otherwise you just don’t start in the first place because you know you are really talking about doing the whole thing. -
8.
I listen more than I talk. -
9.
When I meet someone for the first time, I make a point to remember something specific they told me about themselves and then ask them about it the next time I see them. It could be about their job, family, hobbies, it doesn’t matter. You’d be amazed how much it means to people when you not only actually/actively listen, but when you can show that you were interested/cared enough to remember what they said and follow-up the next time you saw them. -
10.
Assume stupidity instead of malice. There are a lot more stupid people than evil ones, and we all do stupid things now and then. It helps empathizing with people who did something you don't appreciate. -
11.
People are more likely to do what you ask them to if they have already done something for you in the past, no matter how small. So if you want to butter someone up for a big ask, do a lot of little ones first. Just like "Hey, can I borrow your pen?" or "Could you hand me that, please?" -
12.
My girlfriend often doesn't know what she wants for dinner. So I'll tell her I'm getting dinner and it's a "surprise." Inevitably she takes a few guesses and I pick one of those places. -
13.
Tell someone you only have two minutes to talk, and then start your conversation. The false time pressure can make them pay much more attention. -
14.
If you whisper to a crying toddler, they'll quiet down to hear what you're saying. If you make your words almost imperceptible, they will really quiet down. And if you mumble and throw in some words like "ice cream" or their favorite TV show, it works even better. -
15.
I have a tendency to overeat. To combat this I do two things that help. I use smaller plates for meals and when I'm out, I tell myself that if I'm still hungry after the main dish I'm ordering, I'll get that appetizer that sounds so delicious. -
16.
Have you ever heard of "Don't think about your life after 9 pm?" You tend to think more negatively about your life etc. when you are tired and exhausted. Well, if i am having some rough week's or months and I notice that I start to view things in my life more negatively, I just say to myself that it's because it's past 9 pm and I just have to wait, things will probably turn out better then I expect right now. -
17.
When giving options, give a subtle nod to the option you want them to pick. -
18.
When a “superior” is talking down to you, say the least amount of words as possible and stare directly at their forehead, never look them in the eyes. Keep a calm demeanor. This will absolutely destroy a superiority complex in the most subtle way possible. -
19.
If you're in a class room/meeting setting and you suspect someone is watching you, YAWN. Then turn to see if they yawn too. If they do, they've been watching you closely. -
20.
Neuroplasticity: The ability to literally change your brain by what you think about. I used to be constantly negative, and it turns out negative thinking eventually becomes habitual. It changes the connections in your brain. It all starts with the brain. It all starts with how you think. You can form new and healthy pathways in the brain if you can change how you think. -
21.
When a group of people laugh, people will instinctively look at the person they feel closest to in that group. If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer just wait. If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking. -
22.
Silence is easily the most powerful tool in conversation. Don't like what someone just said? Go silent and they'll backpedal. Want someone to elaborate when they might be reluctant? Just wait silently. They'll do it. Stay silent during a negotiation and they'll fight against themselves for you. -
23.
My son won’t eat dinner, but he will eat a snack. Dinner is now called snack time for everyone. -
24.
I always think to myself before interviews or speeches; "I'm not nervous, I'm excited." Because it's almost the same brain chemistry.
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